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Almost two weeks ago, my husband and I left on a flight to Alexandria, Virginia. We were finally meeting a new grandson and welcoming back a son and his family from Germany. We had such a memorable and wonderful time seeing our two grandchildren and catching up with news and life. One of the days I had some free time, so I took the metro over to The Textile Museum in Washington DC. I had been there previously about six years ago and found it to be worthy of time well-spent. It is also housed in the most beautiful building in a picturesque part of the city.

When you walk in the front door, this is the garden that you see directly in the back. This could be England or France. Impeccably maintained, it is a museum not to be missed.

Even the bathroom is stenciled with textile terms. Everything in this building is a textile lover’s paradise.

I keep up with their ongoing special exhibits, and I was not going to miss the opportunity of seeing this one, “Colors of the Oasis: Central Asian Ikats”. The dates of this exhibit are October 16,2010 through March 13, 2011. If you are anywhere near the area, it is well worth the effort to see this amazing, colorful exhibit. It features a collection given to The Textile Museum by collector Murad Megalli that includes nineteenth-century Central Asian ikat “robes for men and women and women’s dresses and pants, as well as cradle covers, hanging and fragments.” I have to say that it was absolutely breathtaking to walk into the rooms and see these pieces displayed against midnight blue walls. The designs and colors of these pieces just popped. I wanted to take photos, but of course it was prohibited.

As a note to this exhibit, I read that Murad Megalli was killed in a plane crash on February 4, 2011 just as this exhibit was nearing its ends. What a legacy he left behind and how generous was his gift to The Textile Museum.

I purchased the book because this is subject matter I find so fascinating to study, the history of the area, its people, the textiles, and the beauty and dedication of this magical craft of ikat dyeing and weaving. And the colors are so rich and captivating. The exhibit also coincided with another post I did on Russian textiles, as many of the linings of these robes come from Russia. This is the book that describes these textiles that were used, and they displayed a copy of this book by Susan Meller along side the featured exhibit book.

The second exhibit is one that is near and dear to many of us who write blogs about using and reusing clothing and textiles, “Second Lives: the Age-Old Art of Recycling Textiles”. When I entered this room, I just wanted to spend luxurious time here taking in all the beauty of the stitching and the old and loved and well-worn recycled pieces. However, the museum was about to close and so my fifteen minutes here were rather hurried. The flyer says the exhibit will last through January of 2012, but the newsletter says this exhibit ends July 10, 2011. Either way, there is plenty of time to see this if you are anywhere near the area in the next four months.

The hanging panel that is featured on the cover of the brochure is truly such an amazing piece. It is from Central Asia, Uzbekistan, 1850-1900 and features the most incredible collection of remnants, silk ikats and printed cottons from Russia. There are 35 squares separated by borders of repeated black and brown triangles. At first I thought this was a quilt but there is no evidence of quilting, and they name it a “panel”. But it is based on the nine patch with borders and then separated by these wonderful pieced triangle strips.

This is one of those pieces that I could stand in front of indefinitely in order to absorb all the prints and weavings of the various and most beautiful pieced textiles.

Back on the street, I had to ask myself, “Did I just die and go to heaven?” Boarding the metro and being in the crunch of the rush hour commuters brought me quickly back to reality. And isn’t this why we visit museums of art we love? It gives a chance to remove ourselves from the routine of everyday living and for a brief moment in time visit another world of beauty and culture.

For more information on this exhibit as well as others, you can visit their website here. Another exhibit I would love to see that starts April 16 and runs through September 11, 2011 is “Green: the Color and the Cause”. It “will explore the techniques people have devised to create green textiles, the meanings this color has held in cultures across time and place, and the ways that contemporary textile artists and designers are responding to concerns about the environment. Textiles from the museum’s permanent collection will be complemented by the work of a selection of contemporary international artists and designers.”

Journey to Julia

On Wednesday morning I headed up I-5 to Olympia in the snow and rain to meet my a blogging friend, Julia. It is funny how we perceive some of this social media. When I told my youngest daughter what I was doing her response was, “Is it safe, Mom?” I think most of us who blog for creative expression find like-minded souls that we trust and feel a connection. For my meeting with Julia this was immediate.

Julia is just like her blog, full of energy, life, joy, curiosity, and intelligence. I trusted she would be this, and I was not disappointed. We who meet on blogs are pretty amazing people, and what fun it was to meet Julia, her husband, three adorable cats, and see where she creates all of her art. Her whole house and life is dedicated to this kind of creative energy and focus. I felt like I could not rest my eyes on any one thing, there was so much to see and take in. All wonderful! Her husband has his share of the house dedicated to his creative ventures that are equally as focused and fascinating. Julia is all the wonderful things you guess she might be and more. I urge anyone who is contemplating meeting a fellow blogger to go with the hunch of your positive instincts.

Ann Wood and Fortuny

About a week ago, I was roaming around the internet viewing blogs and allowing myself simple entertainment. I came across the blog of Ann Wood. It is worth a visit when you have time. In November, Ann visited the Fortuny Showroom in NYC, and she may collaborate with this company and use their incredible fabrics to make some of her designs. How exciting for her and what a perfect match for her creations and the textiles. I am hoping this becomes a reality. I would greatly anticipate Fortuny in her designs.

I have featured these pieces in another post, but while I talk about Ann I thought I would show them again in order for you to connect with her inspiration. Unfortunately, I do not have any photos that I could share with you or articles about her, but if you go to her site you will be so amazed. She uses old and shredded and worn antique clothing, deconstructs them and saves what she can to use in her birds, spiders, and owls. On one post, she hung one of the most beautiful antique dresses and featured the fragility and beauty of its state before she cut into it to salvage the elements, buttons, lace, trims, and other silks and cottons and linens. These photos are works of art in her suggestion of ephemeral beauty and a once elegant past.

I believe she lives near NYC and has the most amazing apartment that she shares photos of in one of her posts. I love the fact that she uses old bits and pieces of clothing and gives them new life in the most creative and wonderful way. She is certainly one to watch in the future.

Creative DNA

Recently I was reading another blog (and that is another subject for another post), and came across a reference from Twyla Tharp’s wonderful and inspiring book, The Creative Habit. I am devouring the book a second time. Every morning, before my walk, I sit down with a cup of coffee and Twyla. I write in another journal the things that inspire me while I read as well as some of the ideas and quotes from the book.

It has been my habit for years to write my name and the date when I finish a book, just to help me recall when or sometimes if I had read it. Once in a while, not too often, I will go back and re-read a book. When I do, I find all kinds of ideas and inspirations that seem new to me. Did I forget or did I grow in such a way that I see things differently now? I think it is a combination of both, but I did not recall the excitement that I have now in this second reading. I highly recommend this book.

This photo was taken in Massena, New York when I was probably three. It has the seeds of my creative DNA. I see them loud and clear. Whenever I am doubtful about who I am or what matters to me, I go and look at this picture, and it clearly spells things out to me. My mother used to tell me a story when I reached adulthood, a story she often repeated, about my love of dolls, but not just any doll. When I was very young and would be given a doll as a gift, I would pick it up and stare at the face for the longest time. If I did not like what I saw there I would put it down and never touch it again. If I liked the expression I would carry the doll around until it fell apart.

I would venture to say that Twyla would call this my “creative hard-wiring or personality.” For me it is all in the details, the look, the touch, the color, the mood, the gesture. It simply has to fit some preconceived notion. Period. I am drawn to details, quiet, solitude, controlled stimulation, and lots of color.

I bought this teacup a number of years ago at an antique show. It was a bargain because of its slight crack and no saucer to set it in. It was love at first sight. I stare at it often. It gives me joy and inspiration. It is like the doll’s face. I never tire of reaching out for it and filling me up with good things, things I care about and love.

All of this really boils down to some thoughts I would like to share here about why I sometimes am a reluctant blogger. I like the medium but sometimes I find it a little overwhelming and challenging. I don’t like being pinned down sometimes either. I started blogging originally to share creative ideas and find others that I could connect with in this domain. After nearly three years (I had one year with another account), I discovered it had slowly become a very personal journal. Did I want this?

Did I really want to look inside myself and share all the details that I discovered there, good and bad. I don’t think so, not really, but how was I to be authentic without being raw and completely open for all the world to see? Sometimes I would awaken in the night and be aghast at something I had written or expressed. In the morning, it would not seem all that bad, but then I wondered how I could discern what was appropriate to disclose and what details of my life did I really want to share?

Essentially, I am a very introspective and quiet and thoughtful person. I love my time alone. I treasure it. Growing up my mother always wanted me to be social and a joiner. I had to be in the choir, pageant, girl’s club, and church youth group and later other organizations she deemed important. It was not who I was. My creative DNA was in the details I found around me and the beauty of nature and the profound and rich love I found in pets. I was a solitary traveler. I could have been a park ranger if I had sewing projects to keep me going in the long stretches of quiet.

I love to focus on one thing and glean what I can from it. Distractions are my number one enemy. If I am hauled away, I have a hard time returning to the point where I was in the moment of that concentration. Twyla says the two detriments to creativity are distractions and fears. Absolutely. So back to blogging….I fear exposure and the time I spend in this space is often my distraction. I found I was spending two and a half hours some mornings visiting other blogs and commenting or responding to comments on my blog. Suddenly my time was less for creative hours spent in solitude and more about keeping up with a social network. What was I to do?

I think since I am so drawn to detail that it is hard for me to sit down and respond sometimes to others on a regular basis because it takes an overwhelming amount of energy. I think this is also why I cannot enter a room full of people and not feel anxiety. I am hard-wired for one-on-one relationships and spaces between my effort to connect. I have to honor this. I simply have to finally recognize that I am not the typical blogger or emailer or internet person. I need lots and lots of time to restore my energy in order to reconnect and be social again. The world is too fast, too full of stimulation and energy. I need to rest in the quiet details and find solace and peace and restorative balm before I can be in the crowd again or the blogging world.

I can stay here at mendofleur if I am honest with myself, that sometimes I may respond to comments when I have the stamina for it. I will often visit other blogs and not leave comments, and I think that is alright too. Blogging etiquette requires rules for which I cannot always adhere. These are just some of my thoughts about my dilemma in this space. I long to have more hours in the day for actual creative work, and if I don’t get it, I feel depressed and frustrated. I want to live in the beauty of details and quiet moments every single day that I can manage. So I am going to try and be present in my own way at this medium. I am hoping it becomes more focused on my creative output versus my personal life. That is really my goal and wish. I simply do not want anyone to be hurt or offended if I sometimes seem absent. We are all hard-wired in our own and unique ways, and I am going to try and give myself the gift of creative time and solace in 2011.

A Gift

I have been busy working on these sachets for the last week. I decided I wanted to do something for the staff at the cat hospital for all the care and sensitivity and support they gave me through and during Lauren’s illness and passing. I also felt a project like this would help me heal and get beyond the pain that is always so immediate and unrelenting when a pet dies.

Every one that I made seemed to represent a side of Lauren. She had so much personality and different moods and ways of expressing herself that just when I felt I had found the perfect trim or ribbon or button, I was on to the next one with a whole different tone and feel, but still finding each one consistent in conveying the essence of Lauren as she always was on a dependable basis.

She could have the delicacy and grace of Audrey Hepburn, yet the strength and will of a Katherine Hepburn. Whatever it was, it was staged with style, warmth, and absolute sincerity.

All the silks used were new, but the trims and buttons were mostly vintage or antique. I filled each one with lavender that I had harvested and dried from my garden, something I do every June.

And just as I was about to package these up and put them in the mail, the postman delivered the most incredible letter, one I had never expected to receive, and I was so touched and moved by the gesture.

The staff at the Cat Hospital of Portland made a monetary tribute to Cornell University in memory of her passing to the Feline Health Enter. What an amazing and incredible thing for them to do. I wanted to share this news as well.

Not Quitting

I am not quitting my blog. I am slow as this turtle in getting around and answering all the wonderful comments you have left over the last week. I will post more on why and the changes I want to make as well as the reasons for debating the idea in the first place. When I have more quality time to convey some of this, I will try and get to this tomorrow as in the form of a letter maybe. I have so appreciated all your honesty as well as support and promise to get back in the next 24 hours to address this. Right now I have another post I need to take care of before this.

Today I decided to leave all worries and concerns behind me and head to Elaine Falbo’s felting class. Elaine was the one who made my felted white bird ornament and she does amazing things, including some fairy furniture that I have.

For all that I learned in one session it was a bargain. And it was such fun to leave the house and hang out with a bunch of enthusiastic and creative women.

Elaine provided all the wool as well as the felting block and the needles.

For inspiration, one of the women brought in a mouse in a shoe, something she had purchased awhile back from Elaine.

Her studio/shop has a certain magic to it. I have a hard time concentrating when I go in there because there is so much to see in all the nooks and crannies.

This is Elaine gathering up some wool to divide and share. She is such a marvelous person, very caring and generous.

I love the creative energy that is conveyed in this photo. It was so much fun being in a room with bundles of new ideas and everyone talking and laughing and eating chocolate mini-heart mints. Heaven.

Two of the women let me photograph their birds. They look like they are two buddies off to some rock concert. All the birds had such unique characteristics and personalities, reflected, of course, by all the individual women in the class.

This is my little bird, off in flight.

I think he is not very old even though he looks fully developed.

He is still finding his wings.

Sitting on the fence

I have to admit, I am torn. After reading all these responses and comments and discussing the matter of my blog, I am definitely on the fence or on the wall. Even my daughters called today and were shocked by my decision. So what to do…I think stay, but in some other form or state or transformation. This I need to think about. Should I begin in a whole new way? For a long time I felt my original intent was to feature primarily textiles and now i think the form has taken a more personal turn, one I had not anticipated.

Tomorrow I will post something I have been working on and a give-away, something I have never done but would like to do.

Thank you for all your support and thoughts and kind words. I will return with some resolution in a few days.

In a few days….

In a few days I will be closing down my blog. My reasons for doing this are personal. I have so greatly appreciated all the friendship as well as the heartfelt and wonderful comments that people have shared here with such dedication for a very long time. I will miss all of you.

I have been inspired and warmed by so many. Thank you!

A Remembrance

This morning my sweet kitty, Lauren passed away. She had been ailing for the last several months with renal failure. I feel her loss so deeply and want to remember her in this space, to pay tribute to her life and her remarkable presence in our lives.

I adopted her from the animal shelter five years ago this last October. I walked in the room with all the cats in cages and asked which cat had been there the longest and which one was least likely to be adopted. They took me over to Lauren’s cage and said she would probably be put down in the next week as she had been there the longest. They put her in my cat carrier and Lauren did not make a sound until I set her down on the back seat of the car, and it was then she let out a huge meow as if to say “Hooray! I have a home at last.”

There were so many qualities about Lauren that made her special. When my mother was under hospice care in our home three years ago, it was Lauren who would not leave her side. She kept a nearly constant vigil beside her bed, and then almost exactly one hour before my mother took her last breath, Lauren suddenly and unexpectedly left the room. She knew.

Of all the cats I have had, she was the essence of sweetness and daintiness. She had a huge heart in a tiny little body. Whenever we had guests in the house she would appear out of nowhere to find a warm, cozy lap and a tender, gentle hand to pet and comfort her.

In her short time with me, she taught me more than I could possibly have ever hoped to learn from such a small and delicate little creature:

~To have faith in most people, that there is much kindness and goodness to be discovered and affection is usually and easily given.
~Initiate love and warmth, a kitty head-bump=a huge hug.
~To have courage in the face of sickness or fear.
~Its okay to search for comfort, that a soft cushion counts for much when life gets to be a little too much.
~Sunshine is a thing to be treasured.
~A daily nap does much to restore, renew, and refresh.
~Taking time out every day to play is a gift and not to be ignored.
~Bedtime and sleep is a chance to be close to those you love.
~Giving a trusting, long and steady gaze into another’s eyes speaks volumes about who you are and the character you have.
~Being agile, graceful, and light-on-your-feet is preferable to clumsiness and careless movement.
~Live in the present.
~Love is what we are here for and nothing else matters.

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