So this bouquet of lisianthus is in remembrance of her and her love of flowers and gentle things.

However, on the eve of summer solstice, Father’s Day, my husband and I decided that even though the weather should be getting warmer and sunnier, and it was still rainy and cold, we would have a fire in the fireplace. We ate our dinner gazing at the fire and then we read our books. I started a new one yesterday…..

This is one I have had on my ongoing stack for some time now. When I was with my daughters last weekend, both great and voracious readers, my oldest was astonished to find that I had not yet gotten to this book. So even though I am currently reading an autobiography by one of the Bloomsbury women, Frances Partridge, I decided to start this one too. I am already caught up in the story and the beautiful way it is written. I am always drawn to books about strong women, this definitely being one of those.

I made this skirt when I was in Mendocino out of a vintage linen curtain panel. I have had it hanging in my studio trying to figure out a way to make it more appealing. I love the fabric and color but something is missing. I think I am going to shorten it a bit and add some old crochet trim to the flounce. I want to wear it for summer……soon.

Yesterday before lunch I saw that the sun was shining (briefly is the key), and decided to go cut some of my roses. The wind, rain, and hail have really been whipping them around just as they were all starting to blossom. I had to save a few and bring them inside. In this bouquet there are probably five different roses even though they all look the same. If textiles are a passion, roses come up as a second or a winning tie. I seem to never get enough of them when they are in bloom.

I have been reading, again, the British author, Beverley Nichols. I love his books. I always laugh out loud when I am reading them, the only books that seem to generate a sort of spontaneous giggle. So as B. Nichols would say, I rescued the languishing pink ladies from their drunken despair and brought them in to dry out. Of course Nichols would have elaborated with more flourish and irreverence, but I think he would have maybe giggled a little at my effort to embellish.

I think I might be beginning to blossom a little too. This package arrived in the mail yesterday. I am still engulfed with the meaning, the effort, and the beauty.

After my absence, I am feeling as if I am restoring some energy finally. Jude is really inspiring me with her ideas and teaching with the “Cloth to Cloth” workshop. Today I tried to do one of her techniques called “anchored weaving.” I started with a solid piece of fabric, in this case a printed silk basted at the top on to a cotton backing.

The instruction was to cut up to about a half inch from the top in varying strips. I love that Jude does this free-form, so I did too.

(Please excuse this photo). The next step was the actual weaving process. I wove in one silk strip and then placed a ruler to guide me for the next strip. I tore the strips this time instead of cut them, and I love the way they fringe and add more texture to the weaving.

This is the finished piece. I cut the edges to even them out and then pinned them. I need to baste them as well.

This is a closer view. I used a variety of silks including two velvets and another that I printed about ten years ago. I was thinking a great deal about this technique and how much I love it. I feel as if I have broken free of so many rules. I am guessing this method will be my favorite going forward with any kind of quilt making or creating of fabric pieces for other projects. I feel like a rebellious teenager who is refusing to accept the old worn out standards of doing things. It feels so good to be a little brash and carefree.

Almost three lampshades done and five more to go before I am ready to go market them. I consider this my job now. If I did not set my mind to this, I would never get anywhere with them.

The third one is on my work table waiting to be finished….tomorrow. Until then I will be weaving in my head!

I signed up for Jude’s class titled “Cloth to Cloth” and am having the best time! It is just what I needed to get me going again. Sunday I decided to dedicate my afternoon to creating something so I would be able to learn this technique. I washed all the fabrics, cut them into strips, chose an old tablecloth for the backing and then just started weaving.

For this piece I chose all vintage Japanese cottons and added a couple of old homespun blue and whites plus a German floral from the 1930′s. This is such a liberating technique and Jude’s way of conducting a class is so filled with inspiration and different ways of approaching a process. This is one of the many remarkable qualities about her. She loves people to explore other possibilities and re-define approaches. If you ever get a chance to take one of her online workshops I highly recommend it. The other fun part is being able to see how everyone else creates within this open framework of experimentation.

And of course just as I was a third of the way done with my weaving, Willie decided he wanted to be in the middle of my playtime too. I accepted his help.

Now back to my work….the lampshades.

When my husband and I moved up to Portland from Mendocino almost five years ago, I had to leave behind one of my favorite pastimes, an outdoor antique and collectible market the first Sunday of every month. It is held in Alameda at the old naval air stations right across the bay from San Francisco that can be seen in the background. I zoomed in with my camera for a better shot.

In this photo you can see a broader site of the city with the Bay Bridge and The Transamerica Building (pointed one) in the background. When I lived closer, I hardly ever missed a month at this sale. My favorite part was getting up at 5 AM, particularly in the winter, and getting to the gate at opening time at 6 AM. It was the perfect moment, filled with anticipation, exhilaration, and excitement. It was as good as going on an early morning hike for me. Everyone would be out there in the chilly weather with flashlights and hot coffee roaming around watching sellers set up. For buyers? Well, we all hoped we would find the treasure and deal that would make our day before the rest of the masses arrived around 7:30 and then 9:00. I always liked identifying with the earliest group because it felt like we were a select, hardy, and eager lot, weathering the cold and the dark for the same exuberant reasons. I guess you could also say it was and is in our blood, this obsession, this thrill-of-the-hunt.

However, I did not get there this time until 8 AM as I had not slept nearly all night just anticipating the event. When I walked in near the front entrance, I met this remarkable woman who has a business called “Danski Beautiful Clothes – art to wear.” She lives in Ojai, California, and her designs are really works of art. In talking to her briefly she told me she has no formal training but has taught sewing and designing to others. She also told me that she did not feel hindered or encumbered by rules because of this. Her creative process is very instinctive, simply a part of who she is, and she is very deeply connected to this as one can see by her designs. Her creative process, she said, was one of freedom, without constraints. Would I ever love to emulate this process, to let go of the shackles once and for all.

Every piece is exceptional. I wanted to buy something, but I came with other objectives, to buy for my pending business, and I had to be very disciplined. I will save money for the next time if she still keeps coming to the show. I have a feeling that she is launching her business at Alameda as many people do. It is a great place to get exposure, and she said that this year is her year for finally being recognized and achieving some success, that people are finally “getting” her clothing. This is quite an accomplishment given an economy that is quite difficult. I think she will definitely be someone to watch. She gave me her business card, but it did not have her name on it. I will keep you posted on her work when I find more about her in the future.

I did not buy anything from this seller, but I thought she had a fun display.

This woman had a business called “Amy Lee Buttons,” and she sold a variety of wonderful things: old and newer fabric, laces, patterns and more buttons than you could ever absorb in a day. I purchased a card of buttons, some lace, 3 vintage patterns, and the older pieces below.

What I love most about the hunt is meeting the most wonderful younger and older women who go there to sell. They are all selling what they are passionate about, and it is fun to meet them and share stories and see what inspires them to come and sell at this venue that, at times, can be grueling given the often windy weather, the hours, the work involved in a one-day set-up, the crowds, and I am sure the shoplifting that is always a concern for many. I admire all of them, and have a great respect for their efforts and ambition. I sold there once and can tell you from personal experience it is not for the faint-hearted.

Put a beautiful floral chintz in front of me, and I will melt, especially if it has a bit of chinoiserie as well as birds. This woman has an antique shop but comes to sell some of her collections at Alameda too. What I will do with this? Many plans.

I intend to do one more post on this subject, and then I will get back to part II of “Embracing Femininity,” as I had promised.

Mendocino as seen from a distance….

In less than an hour I will be driving to San Francisco in order to get up early for the outdoor market in Alameda tomorrow. I will be home late afternoon the same day. I have read your comments on my last post, and I have to say they have given me so much to think about. I am so attached to all of you in so many ways. All the comments were thoughtful, wise, and strong. What an incredible group of women you all are. I can hardly wait to sit down and respond to each of you individually. Thank you so much for reading this lengthy post. I will try and get back to all of you this evening. I feel so fortunate to know all of you. You are a true inspiration in so many ways!

As I get older I become more set in my ways. Some are tolerable, as viewed by others, something I often find amusing. However, parts of me, huge parts are more personal. I view these as having been with me for a lifetime. In other words they seem so entrenched in my being it would be difficult for me to change any of them. I wear these ideas as if they were my skin. Perhaps they are just this. Maybe they are even part of my DNA. That said, I am not looking for an excuse to make the following pronouncement. I love being feminine!

For many years, especially during the ’80′s, I read lots of feminist literature, some very radical and forward-thinking. I focused on this subject because I truly believed that women should be equal in every way, especially in terms of education and career opportunities. I still believe this. I think women should be able to have as many degrees as they want and also grab any and all careers that they are yearning to master. Maybe this is a worn out subject, so I will not go any further with the politics of this. What prompted me to write on this subject was a comment I received awhile back from an Italian woman, Angela, who lives in Rome. She had seen my post on “Clothing for Us” and was kind enough to leave a very insightful comment. I could not forget what she said and how it suddenly took me back to the women’s movement in the early ’60′s and where we have gone, as women and men in our thinking. Some of it seems to have backfired in quite a number of ways.

Here is Angela’s comment:
“What a pleasure and comfort to find a blog like yours. I especially agree with the ‘age renaissance’, our wish for a rebirth after a life spent to seduce, attract, be conformed, respond to other’s demands. The elder age is finally for us, but free from the horrible grey, brown, black. I live in Rome, I’m Italian, and I feel that our sense of elegance cannot be expressed only through colors which deprive us of our fullness of life, here color is something transgressive, if chosen by an older lady. I’ve decided to not dye my hair anymore, and people are really astonished. But I’m feeling great!”

What shocked me about Angela’s comment was that her culture has not moved one bit from a female bias against aging women. I know in our country it is still a problem and, further, in another correspondence I had with Angela, she informed me that sewing and craft were not something that women would promote because it was not seen as “intellectual”. I was hoping this idea was changing since I see sewing coming back and women embracing this as a hobby or as a small business venture. Perhaps other countries are or will never see this as an avenue for women to find pride or comfort or a livelihood. However, there is too much discrepancy in our politics as women. We need to support all women in whatever field or form of living that we decide to express. That is true feminism.

So what are we born to be…..scientists, doctors, lawyers, engineers, educators (teachers), social workers, nurses, politicians? Is everything else considered beneath us….full-time mothers, actresses, artists, writers, seamstresses, quilt makers, gardeners ((and not always master gardeners), weavers……I have been tormented with these thoughts for years now. When Angela came to me and disclosed her feelings, I was grateful and yet saddened.

I find these early photos of my granddaughter so refreshing. Would you guess she was boy in the first one? I doubt it. In the second, she is what she is today and yet most parents have a fear of femininity, as if it is a curse. Sarah, my granddaughter, has
always been drawn to whatever is frilly, pink, or girlish and soft. Is this alarming to me that she perhaps will not be able to make it in the world of tough business and intellectual debate? Absolutely not. Will I gasp in horror if she decides she wants to learn how to sew or knit? Never.

About twelve years ago when my husband and I were buying a condominium in San Francisco, the real estate agent asked me what I did for a living. At the time I was not working since we had just re-located due to a transfer with my husband’s company. (Yes, I know I moved for him, but this is sometimes a balanced option for two people in a marriage.) I told her I was sewing and gardening a lot in Mendocino until we could settle in the city again. She was shocked that I would even admit to sewing. She made it perfectly clear that she never learned to sew a button on clothing because she would never admit to anyone that she even knew how to sew. To her it was considered a handicap. I have never forgotten this encounter and how it seemed to exemplify how women in Western culture have limited their options as well as their assets by refuting anything that might suggest a feminine liability. I find this both disheartening and alarming.

This subject was so huge, I hardly knew how to grasp it. I decided to begin with this part and then explore in the next segment how women can and need to retrieve the other parts of themselves that seem to have been thrown out with the lace and the softness.

Artist: Adolphe-William Bouguereau

When I am in Mendocino, I start every morning with a walk down to the headlands and across to the stairs down to the beach. No matter what the weather: sun, clouds, pouring rain, or wild winds, I am destined for the beach. It is the one constant in my routine when I am here. Usually it is after my first cup of coffee and my half hour reading time.

This time of year there are many flowers in bloom. Come late August and September, all the blackberry bushes have ripening fruit, and it is always hard to resist nibbling fruit along the path.

Over the years, I have learned much about the tides and the changing appearance of the ocean. Some mornings, the ocean is almost as flat as a lake or there is little beach left for walking. This morning I could walk way out beyond where I usually do and could peer into caves and look down and see the way the ocean had sculpted the sand beneath.

Occasionally I will find a dead seal or other wildlife, a reminder that life is very dear….and short. We never know if this might be one of our last days, so although sad and sobering to witness, it also reminds me to view the day ahead of me as a gift to cherish. (Note: I talked to my youngest daughter today, and she said she enjoyed looking at the beach and remembering the times we have walked here together, but she was a little taken back by this photo of the bird. Something tells me to keep it here, but another part of me says to remove it because it is harsh. I think life is harsh sometimes, and I think that the way we treat animals and wildlife is harsh on a regular basis. I think this is a reminder to be more caring and gentle and aware.)

Then there is the sign on the restroom door to remind me that it is my job to be a steward of the park, that I need to take responsibility for its care and litter-free condition. Every state is facing these budget cuts, and now it is up to citizens to pay better attention and help care for these very special places we have taken for granted.

…….so we can all continue to enjoy these parks.

Even some of the paths are eroding. There is always maintenance it seems.

As I head down my street, planning my day, I realize I am a bit behind with comments to others, emails, and visiting other sites as well. We have had unexpected guests since Wednesday evening and tomorrow my brother arrives for a visit. I have two skirts cut out and ideas for other projects I brought, but it will all be managed in due time. I also have a post in my head that keeps urging me to focus and write about it. I will in a day or so. I have so much on my mind in terms of women, our work, our worth, and how we can exist with strength and courage to be exactly who we are and what we deem important personally and universally. It seems a huge subject, but one that is occupying my mind and my heart these days. I will be back here soon.

I have been thinking a lot lately about colors in our lives, and primarily what colors we choose for our clothing. On my morning walks, I have been inspired by all the natural and vibrant colors in all the spring flowers. Tulips seem to be blooming in everyone’s gardens and now the wisteria hanging over porches and arbors are about to burst into bloom. Then there are all the various greens that are so new and fresh this time of the year.

So why is it, I have been wondering, do we not look like we are celebrating life rather than mourning life? I realize there are many personal and vast world problems, but this is a given whether we like it or not. Yet many of us, myself included, continue to wear black or gray or beige or dark blue as a staple tone in our wardrobes. I cannot stand apart and cast blame because I, too, wear mournful colors a lot. Yet, if people were to mourn my death, I would hope they would all wear the colors of vibrant and beautiful flowers, the colors that we encounter every day in nature.

I am curious if this is a trend over a number of years or is it an issue of politics. If I dress in somber tones will I be considered serious, capable, accomplished? I do think the issue of feminism has directed women of all ages to assess how they come across in a culture predominately ruled by men. Therefore to compete for the better jobs in the corporate world, perhaps women need to look confident. Possibly color in a corporate setting makes one appear frivolous. That said, when one has a day off or if one works out of one’s home, why not set the black jacket or sweater aside and embrace color and celebrate being alive for this moment and maybe the next.

Vogue Knitting Winter 2009/10, Page 72

Page 73

Page 70

All of the photos are similar because they use the same green more somber color, but pair it with some other vibrant colors. I think it works. It actually sings!

Page 47

The texture, color, and pattern are brave but worth the risk.

I have spent some time this week going through some of my textiles looking for fun pieces to use in clothing. These two pieces I purchased in France many years ago. A woman, Brigette Singh had moved from Paris to India with her husband and was making colorful wood block prints using original blocks from Mughal textiles and using the old methods of dyeing. She opened a shop in Paris and was selling clothing as well as fabric that she had printed in India. I was captivated. I bought a few pieces and then returning a few years later, went back and purchased a few more. I made a few decorative pillows, but now I am considering their application in clothing and how colorful and fun they would be to use.

I posted this vintage linen piece in another post awhile back. I pulled it out of the cupboard a few days ago and asked myself why not use it for a jacket or a skirt. I have two long pieces. They used to be curtain panels, but no one is keeping track of its use except I. There are so many ways to create new stories for a piece. This coming week I plan to begin cutting and sewing as well as finishing my linen blouse with the antique trim.