So this bouquet of lisianthus is in remembrance of her and her love of flowers and gentle things.

However, on the eve of summer solstice, Father’s Day, my husband and I decided that even though the weather should be getting warmer and sunnier, and it was still rainy and cold, we would have a fire in the fireplace. We ate our dinner gazing at the fire and then we read our books. I started a new one yesterday…..

This is one I have had on my ongoing stack for some time now. When I was with my daughters last weekend, both great and voracious readers, my oldest was astonished to find that I had not yet gotten to this book. So even though I am currently reading an autobiography by one of the Bloomsbury women, Frances Partridge, I decided to start this one too. I am already caught up in the story and the beautiful way it is written. I am always drawn to books about strong women, this definitely being one of those.

I made this skirt when I was in Mendocino out of a vintage linen curtain panel. I have had it hanging in my studio trying to figure out a way to make it more appealing. I love the fabric and color but something is missing. I think I am going to shorten it a bit and add some old crochet trim to the flounce. I want to wear it for summer……soon.

When my husband and I moved up to Portland from Mendocino almost five years ago, I had to leave behind one of my favorite pastimes, an outdoor antique and collectible market the first Sunday of every month. It is held in Alameda at the old naval air stations right across the bay from San Francisco that can be seen in the background. I zoomed in with my camera for a better shot.

In this photo you can see a broader site of the city with the Bay Bridge and The Transamerica Building (pointed one) in the background. When I lived closer, I hardly ever missed a month at this sale. My favorite part was getting up at 5 AM, particularly in the winter, and getting to the gate at opening time at 6 AM. It was the perfect moment, filled with anticipation, exhilaration, and excitement. It was as good as going on an early morning hike for me. Everyone would be out there in the chilly weather with flashlights and hot coffee roaming around watching sellers set up. For buyers? Well, we all hoped we would find the treasure and deal that would make our day before the rest of the masses arrived around 7:30 and then 9:00. I always liked identifying with the earliest group because it felt like we were a select, hardy, and eager lot, weathering the cold and the dark for the same exuberant reasons. I guess you could also say it was and is in our blood, this obsession, this thrill-of-the-hunt.

However, I did not get there this time until 8 AM as I had not slept nearly all night just anticipating the event. When I walked in near the front entrance, I met this remarkable woman who has a business called “Danski Beautiful Clothes – art to wear.” She lives in Ojai, California, and her designs are really works of art. In talking to her briefly she told me she has no formal training but has taught sewing and designing to others. She also told me that she did not feel hindered or encumbered by rules because of this. Her creative process is very instinctive, simply a part of who she is, and she is very deeply connected to this as one can see by her designs. Her creative process, she said, was one of freedom, without constraints. Would I ever love to emulate this process, to let go of the shackles once and for all.

Every piece is exceptional. I wanted to buy something, but I came with other objectives, to buy for my pending business, and I had to be very disciplined. I will save money for the next time if she still keeps coming to the show. I have a feeling that she is launching her business at Alameda as many people do. It is a great place to get exposure, and she said that this year is her year for finally being recognized and achieving some success, that people are finally “getting” her clothing. This is quite an accomplishment given an economy that is quite difficult. I think she will definitely be someone to watch. She gave me her business card, but it did not have her name on it. I will keep you posted on her work when I find more about her in the future.

I did not buy anything from this seller, but I thought she had a fun display.

This woman had a business called “Amy Lee Buttons,” and she sold a variety of wonderful things: old and newer fabric, laces, patterns and more buttons than you could ever absorb in a day. I purchased a card of buttons, some lace, 3 vintage patterns, and the older pieces below.

What I love most about the hunt is meeting the most wonderful younger and older women who go there to sell. They are all selling what they are passionate about, and it is fun to meet them and share stories and see what inspires them to come and sell at this venue that, at times, can be grueling given the often windy weather, the hours, the work involved in a one-day set-up, the crowds, and I am sure the shoplifting that is always a concern for many. I admire all of them, and have a great respect for their efforts and ambition. I sold there once and can tell you from personal experience it is not for the faint-hearted.

Put a beautiful floral chintz in front of me, and I will melt, especially if it has a bit of chinoiserie as well as birds. This woman has an antique shop but comes to sell some of her collections at Alameda too. What I will do with this? Many plans.

I intend to do one more post on this subject, and then I will get back to part II of “Embracing Femininity,” as I had promised.

As I get older I become more set in my ways. Some are tolerable, as viewed by others, something I often find amusing. However, parts of me, huge parts are more personal. I view these as having been with me for a lifetime. In other words they seem so entrenched in my being it would be difficult for me to change any of them. I wear these ideas as if they were my skin. Perhaps they are just this. Maybe they are even part of my DNA. That said, I am not looking for an excuse to make the following pronouncement. I love being feminine!

For many years, especially during the ’80′s, I read lots of feminist literature, some very radical and forward-thinking. I focused on this subject because I truly believed that women should be equal in every way, especially in terms of education and career opportunities. I still believe this. I think women should be able to have as many degrees as they want and also grab any and all careers that they are yearning to master. Maybe this is a worn out subject, so I will not go any further with the politics of this. What prompted me to write on this subject was a comment I received awhile back from an Italian woman, Angela, who lives in Rome. She had seen my post on “Clothing for Us” and was kind enough to leave a very insightful comment. I could not forget what she said and how it suddenly took me back to the women’s movement in the early ’60′s and where we have gone, as women and men in our thinking. Some of it seems to have backfired in quite a number of ways.

Here is Angela’s comment:
“What a pleasure and comfort to find a blog like yours. I especially agree with the ‘age renaissance’, our wish for a rebirth after a life spent to seduce, attract, be conformed, respond to other’s demands. The elder age is finally for us, but free from the horrible grey, brown, black. I live in Rome, I’m Italian, and I feel that our sense of elegance cannot be expressed only through colors which deprive us of our fullness of life, here color is something transgressive, if chosen by an older lady. I’ve decided to not dye my hair anymore, and people are really astonished. But I’m feeling great!”

What shocked me about Angela’s comment was that her culture has not moved one bit from a female bias against aging women. I know in our country it is still a problem and, further, in another correspondence I had with Angela, she informed me that sewing and craft were not something that women would promote because it was not seen as “intellectual”. I was hoping this idea was changing since I see sewing coming back and women embracing this as a hobby or as a small business venture. Perhaps other countries are or will never see this as an avenue for women to find pride or comfort or a livelihood. However, there is too much discrepancy in our politics as women. We need to support all women in whatever field or form of living that we decide to express. That is true feminism.

So what are we born to be…..scientists, doctors, lawyers, engineers, educators (teachers), social workers, nurses, politicians? Is everything else considered beneath us….full-time mothers, actresses, artists, writers, seamstresses, quilt makers, gardeners ((and not always master gardeners), weavers……I have been tormented with these thoughts for years now. When Angela came to me and disclosed her feelings, I was grateful and yet saddened.

I find these early photos of my granddaughter so refreshing. Would you guess she was boy in the first one? I doubt it. In the second, she is what she is today and yet most parents have a fear of femininity, as if it is a curse. Sarah, my granddaughter, has
always been drawn to whatever is frilly, pink, or girlish and soft. Is this alarming to me that she perhaps will not be able to make it in the world of tough business and intellectual debate? Absolutely not. Will I gasp in horror if she decides she wants to learn how to sew or knit? Never.

About twelve years ago when my husband and I were buying a condominium in San Francisco, the real estate agent asked me what I did for a living. At the time I was not working since we had just re-located due to a transfer with my husband’s company. (Yes, I know I moved for him, but this is sometimes a balanced option for two people in a marriage.) I told her I was sewing and gardening a lot in Mendocino until we could settle in the city again. She was shocked that I would even admit to sewing. She made it perfectly clear that she never learned to sew a button on clothing because she would never admit to anyone that she even knew how to sew. To her it was considered a handicap. I have never forgotten this encounter and how it seemed to exemplify how women in Western culture have limited their options as well as their assets by refuting anything that might suggest a feminine liability. I find this both disheartening and alarming.

This subject was so huge, I hardly knew how to grasp it. I decided to begin with this part and then explore in the next segment how women can and need to retrieve the other parts of themselves that seem to have been thrown out with the lace and the softness.

Artist: Adolphe-William Bouguereau

I finished my linen blouse today. I am usually very critical about all results. It fits perfectly. I love the linen. It was a dream to handle and sew. I love the vintage lace trims and the buttons are little gems. So what is my complaint? The ruffle worked well, and the pattern had a fine way of working it in with the binding. However, I am not sure I would do the ruffle again. I am feeling a little ambivalent about this application. Why? Linen is one fabric that speaks its own language. Fine laces and antique buttons are a natural for embellishment, but with linen, its beauty and magical touch and weight speak volumes about being just there as it is. Natural beauty is easily recognized.

With that said, I think this would be a great summer blouse with a simple linen skirt or a pair of cropped pants and fun sandals and definitely a great necklace, but not pearls. Too demure. It needs to be offset with something more earthy.

About a week ago, I cut out this skirt. This is the front piece. I have had this for awhile. It is one that I purchased from Brigette Singh from a post I mentioned earlier. Maybe it matches the blouse too well. Maybe I need a little off-beat color. I will have to experiment a bit and see what prevails. I am trying to live out-of-the-box these days, so this will be experimental.

These are the buttons I chose. I think they are quite old. I pick up vintage and antique buttons on a regular basis, so when I open my box of buttons, I know something will sing with the color and the fabric. This was an easy decision.

This is the front with the ties hanging down. I love this pattern and will use it again. It is 10 years old, and this company is no longer in business. I believe it was originally a British company. I always loved their designs, and they had the most beautiful dresses I have ever come across. I have kept all their patterns because of the unique and feminine style.

Sometimes I will go to bed with a stack of patterns instead of my usual book. I cannot go to sleep until I read something that takes me to a better feeling in my mind and heart. Some days bedtime is easy. Other times, there is a need to find peace, a little comfort. Last night I took my patterns to bed. I have a routine for reading them. I will look at the date, the view of the one l like, the amount for yardage. Then I will take out the instruction sheet and study the pieces, the layout, and the changes I will make. When I am through putting the pieces back in the envelope, I am quite confident what fabric I will use and how I will alter the pattern. It is perfect for dreaming into the night as I turn the light off and hope for honest rest.

I have been thinking a lot lately about sewing, what it means to me now and really what it has meant to me since I was seventeen years old. It is not a small thing. It has been and is a huge part of my life, and as I get older, I am finding that, increasingly, it has become my serenity, my special and treasured part of each day. I am not romanticizing this. I absolutely love holding a piece of fabric in my hands and molding it into a garment, a quilt, or a curtain. It does not really matter what the end product, the act of sewing and creating has been a sustaining force my entire life. It is what I have turned to for joy, comfort, or release from sorrow. It gives me peace, a sense of security, and an immense joy in my constant craving for solitude, a quiet and yearning quest for the noise to stop, the noise in my head and the noise on the street. It rightfully has been a life-long love affair.

I showed this quilt so long ago, but it was my first and done in the early ’80′s. It was created in the middle of my sewing evolution as well as a transition from clothing to quilts. My next post will address the feminist issues that prompted this quilt and how I assimilated these revolutionary ideas into my life and how they have changed the women of the present generation, my daughters. Much has happened and transpired. There is a plethora of reading material on this subject. I will address my viewpoint from a more personal perspective and the importance of craft and hand-work.

I have been thinking a lot lately about colors in our lives, and primarily what colors we choose for our clothing. On my morning walks, I have been inspired by all the natural and vibrant colors in all the spring flowers. Tulips seem to be blooming in everyone’s gardens and now the wisteria hanging over porches and arbors are about to burst into bloom. Then there are all the various greens that are so new and fresh this time of the year.

So why is it, I have been wondering, do we not look like we are celebrating life rather than mourning life? I realize there are many personal and vast world problems, but this is a given whether we like it or not. Yet many of us, myself included, continue to wear black or gray or beige or dark blue as a staple tone in our wardrobes. I cannot stand apart and cast blame because I, too, wear mournful colors a lot. Yet, if people were to mourn my death, I would hope they would all wear the colors of vibrant and beautiful flowers, the colors that we encounter every day in nature.

I am curious if this is a trend over a number of years or is it an issue of politics. If I dress in somber tones will I be considered serious, capable, accomplished? I do think the issue of feminism has directed women of all ages to assess how they come across in a culture predominately ruled by men. Therefore to compete for the better jobs in the corporate world, perhaps women need to look confident. Possibly color in a corporate setting makes one appear frivolous. That said, when one has a day off or if one works out of one’s home, why not set the black jacket or sweater aside and embrace color and celebrate being alive for this moment and maybe the next.

Vogue Knitting Winter 2009/10, Page 72

Page 73

Page 70

All of the photos are similar because they use the same green more somber color, but pair it with some other vibrant colors. I think it works. It actually sings!

Page 47

The texture, color, and pattern are brave but worth the risk.

I have spent some time this week going through some of my textiles looking for fun pieces to use in clothing. These two pieces I purchased in France many years ago. A woman, Brigette Singh had moved from Paris to India with her husband and was making colorful wood block prints using original blocks from Mughal textiles and using the old methods of dyeing. She opened a shop in Paris and was selling clothing as well as fabric that she had printed in India. I was captivated. I bought a few pieces and then returning a few years later, went back and purchased a few more. I made a few decorative pillows, but now I am considering their application in clothing and how colorful and fun they would be to use.

I posted this vintage linen piece in another post awhile back. I pulled it out of the cupboard a few days ago and asked myself why not use it for a jacket or a skirt. I have two long pieces. They used to be curtain panels, but no one is keeping track of its use except I. There are so many ways to create new stories for a piece. This coming week I plan to begin cutting and sewing as well as finishing my linen blouse with the antique trim.

I have been thinking a lot about how we, as older women, dress. It seems problematic. I think we don’t trust our instincts or else we are mired in jeans and t-shirts or loose sweaters. I am a little tired of looking at myself in this attire everyday. I want to look like this woman above, bohemian or gypsy-inspired. I find it too easy to grab that proverbial comfy gray sweater and jeans. So I started exploring and researching clothing that seemed perfect for the gray-haired bunch or the group of us that seem invisible to any marketing scheme for great everyday clothing.

I find that Gudrun Sjoden’s clothing fits the look that I want as I get older, and I greatly appreciate her representation of aging women as chic, adventurous, and savvy. We are….we just need to get out there and show it.

I think it is all about layers, colors, leggings to add some pizazz and a hat or a scarf or an edgy accessory to set the whole thing in motion. I am striving for this one piece at a time.

These shoes, for instance, seem to make any outfit look fun. And they are non-leather, a requirement I have that is unwavering, so even vegan shoes can be fun. You just have to look a little harder to find them, but it is always worth the hunt.

The older woman on the left is exactly the image I am striving to meet.

Do you remember Oilily? I loved their clothes, and there used to be quite a few stores that sold them. Now I am not sure they are still in business. I know they were selling children’s clothing for awhile, but somehow the spirit of the company is not the same for women as it was. Here are a few other photos when their designs were so great and inspiring.

This is the look I am after as I grow into my older years. Why not? It is fun and adventurous and says so much about how we can strive and thrive and be present in our lives.

I have spent the last several days sorting through all my fabrics matching things, creating looks, feeling a sense of confidence in this mode, this fun and funky style. I have pulled out many of my old linens, some plain and some very colorful and floral. I find this all so energizing. And footwear and socks are key too. Be outrageous once in a while. Wear that hat you have been afraid to put on your head. Sling that multi-colored handbag over your shoulder. Wear those funky, quirky beads. Sing a song as you go along and giggle deep within. It honestly feels so good to be a little more free, a true crone, a colorful dragon let loose in the park!

I have been trying to slow my life down. I have been reading a lot, listening to audio books, taking long walks, watching movies, talking to my husband, and doing a lot of slow, hand-sewing. I have also, of course, been thinking about how we live, or rather how I live. I would prefer to think of my life as not frenetic, especially at my age. My body is telling me the same. I am trying to be a better listener.

The blouse I was going to collage with an assortment of lace pieces dictated something else. The linen in my hands was so sensuous and comforting that I fell in love all over again with its beauty, simplicity, and touch. I could not cover it with random pieces. It was a masterpiece on its own. The tactile quality and its gentle weight simply was perfect without any adornment. So I decided to add an older lace to the hemline. Sewing this on to the bottom was so comforting and peaceful that I felt justified in my decision to keep it simple.

Sam, my angel guardian, always near my side, had a look at my next project. It is also hand-pieced. I am finding a way to juxtapose my old trims with lovely old pieces of black lace on a denim background.

I incorporated a log cabin piece from an old quilt that I salvaged.

Some French knots and some Chinese trim always seem a little like a chinoiserie design.

But for natural beauty, there is nothing more inspiring than a tree peony blossom that recently graced my brother’s garden in San Francisco.

This is what I have been working on the last week, lampshades for a woman that asked me to make a total of five for her before my daughter’s wedding. She was in no hurry, but after I recovered sufficiently from all the wedding sewing, I felt compelled to get these finished as soon as I could manage. Now I have other creative ideas that I would like to explore that will focus on clothing.

The last several months I have been cleaning my Victorian whites so that I might use them for some summer clothing projects. I never tire of looking at them hanging close by. They always give me inspiration and lots of ideas as I busy myself with other things. Soon I will be reaping the benefits of these dreams.

Instead of the lace vest, I have decided to make a blouse using a lighter weight linen and covering it with bits and pieces and strips of lace. This is my project for the next few weeks. I intend to hand-sew all the lace so it will be a slow project.

I finished the skirt late Friday afternoon, and silly me, after it was done, I was thinking how great this would have looked on Vanessa Bell with a paintbrush in hand and a canvas in front of her or Virginia Woolf seated at her desk, pen in hand, writing her journal or finishing the last line of To the Lighthouse. I am always partly stepped back into that time period. I am not sure why, but it feels comfortable and right to me.

I selected a tiny round antique fabric-covered button for the loop closure. I love this pattern and intend to use it again. It was so easy and, for this textile, a perfect match.

I wasn’t happy with the hem. The weave of the fabric created some waves in the hem, even though I hand-basted it before attaching it to the lining before turning. I am going to take out the stitching and let the hem hang separately from the lining. I think this might give the wool a chance to relax and hang as it should.

Before going to bed last night, I went into the backyard and looked up at the moon, its power and, of course, its beauty. I went back in and got the camera to take a photo. My heart is somewhere in the universe with this moon caring for more earthquake victims and for others who need guidance and wisdom.

This morning, as an experiment, I decided to select some of my most prized colorful silks and velvets and throw them in the waste basket just to see how it felt to be nonchalant and indifferent. What prompted this exercise was an article I read yesterday afternoon in a publication that is delivered to my husband each month. I seldom look at the magazine, but for some reason decided to flip through it. I discovered an article on a designer and perused it. What I came across was quite disconcerting.

I will not disclose the name of the designer, but in so many words she decided she was not happy with her spring 2010 line. She felt that all the bright colors were not working, so she threw out a quarter million dollars worth of fabric and started over. She said that once she got rid of the color that everything started to work. Not only do I find this appalling, I find it to be a silly, self-absorbed solution. Maybe designers have always been so wasteful. Then I suggest they no longer market any efforts to be sustainable.

I am almost finished with my wool wrap skirt and will post it soon. My next project will be more spring-minded. I want to work with some linen and antique laces on perhaps a vest collaged with large and small pieces of lace. I look forward to this because primarily it will mostly be sewn by hand.

I have been inspired lately to look at paintings for clothing ideas by this. What a wonderful idea to be inspired in this way. There is so much that can be gleaned from such a beautiful vision. This painting above has so much to stir one’s spirit. I love the lace insertion on her dress sleeves and the way the fabric drapes, suggesting it might me a beautiful cotton voile, the older ones being the most exquisite to feel and see. She is draped in the most beautiful textile. Is is getting wet?

I just love the simplicity of this dress. It is so classic it could be easily worn today, and the purple sash tied at the hips is pure magic. The way the sleeves gather and fold, could there be anything more elegant and romantic? The leftovers were surely put into a quilt of some merit, I would like to imagine. No waste.

I will often save photos from magazines before I discard them. I have had this for some time now. I could step right inside this world and be perfectly content with the clothing, scenery, and ambiance.

Now I must go retrieve my textiles from the wastebasket and put them back on the shelf for a future project.