I have had some thoughts while I spend some time alone here in Mendocino. This morning I woke up very early thinking about an all-white (or maybe it was cream) fabric. It was the texture that drew me in, something soft and comforting. I announced to my cats that I was going back to sleep and awakened an hour later still wondering about the soft and muted tone of a fabric. I think we often have colors or images in our dreams that spell a feeling, a place where we are or would like to arrive. Two days before the dream, I created this weaving. But it had a little red in it. Somewhere it became a dream of pure white. I view this as a message, the color and the dream. I think it is all about clarity, a striving to find the sense of this.
The memory was not like snow, although it is a meaningful image and one that I like. It was actually a richer thought, warmer and slightly out-of-reach.
Maybe it had the slice of beauty that one captures when looking at a sunset. It would seem to imply a yearning, and yet I am not altogether sure how to define this. When I was little I would have “outer space” dreams that would terrify me. They were defined by quick movements, black and white images, and uncertainty. This white I speak of is different. It is soft and beckoning, but undefinable. I am guessing it is a blank page that has presented itself….waiting to be imprinted with an impression, a story, maybe a story expressed though cloth…..something clear and true and subjective. Have I simply been alone too long? No. I have been alone long enough to hear my voice.
Intriguing…
I look forward to more thoughts.
It is funny, but sometimes I feel like my blog is nothing but a show and tell, and this is really not what I originally intended. I guess I am also searching for others to connect with me on the same level of vision yet uncertain path as to where it all leads. I have been so caught up in action and purpose and task that I feel a little searching and questioning is somehow where I need to be right now.
“Action and purpose and task…” I think we partly fall into that trap because that’s what our society values.
Oh this is so true, isn’t it? And especially if this is how one is raised with those values in mind. I think sometimes it is important to simply sit and be comfortable with that, something rare in our world today.
I find your dream image/lingering, lovely feeling incredibly comforting. I can relate to what you are trying to describe and discover, and have experienced similar myself once or twice, a sort of ‘light-bulb’ moment, a strong feeling that is linked with an elusive butterfly image, a colour, a texture, possibly with an emotion or even a subtle range of them, with the certain knowledge that an understanding of the whole concept of that elusive sensation is ‘in reach’ so to speak with thought, patience and meditation. Very difficult to describe with words… A personal and positive vision, a wonderful place to begin, a fresh canvas full of peaceful, comfortable possibilities rather than a blank page fraught with worry and uncertainty.
I loved your description! I think sometimes it is easy to try and jump to a conclusion, to try and define or categorize a thought, idea, or dream, in this case, before one is ready. I suspect this might be because is is always hard to live with a little uncertainty, to not have something spelled out, as this might cause anxiety or fear. I think as we get older, it might be possible to live with questions longer until they present themselves with answers or even more questions. I know when I was younger, I always wanted to have an immediate answer to a problem or a dilemma. Now I find it is okay to just be present and wait. Usually something will present itself to guide us along and help us see better.
Beautifully said…I agree, sometimes we get just a glimmer
or faint “wisp” of something which nudges us in a way that makes us question which direction are we being inspired to walk, run, go, create, etc.
It happens to me only in those quiet moments. My original
blog was all about a spirit walk and art but, It began to feel too personal for me and I felt very “vulnerable”.
I try to walk a much more conservative balance now. At times
I do not feel I have achieved that. I feel I have gone the opposite direction…..No matter…I am enjoying the walk.
<3
I think you have struck a note here with many of us who blog. We always have to calculate just how much we want to reveal. I don’t think it is a matter of leaving your guts open to the world, but rather revealing a universal truth. There is a difference between “wearing your heart on your sleeve” versus sharing some thoughts that are common and connected to many. In this way, I think that kind of sharing and disclosure is healing to all. It isn’t that you are looking for someone to take care of you or heal your open wound. I would guess it might be closer to a group of women sitting and sharing tea or coffee or wine and simply comparing their lives with one another. So enjoy and be comfortable with your walk because I always enjoy taking a few steps with you along the way.
Thank you! I think you have said it perfectly <3
I envision just that; a group of women in a circle
sharing.
I like this post a lot…it shows your process, what motivates. I think being alone at times is an important part of creativity. For me it creates space to let the thought in… It also gives me time to gather myself back together.
I very, very rarely remember my dreams. Mom is completely different and has very vivid dreams that she remembers. But I sleep better than she does…at least when I do sleep.
Being alone for me seems to be a requirement in order to create anything fresh and new. It is easy to get bogged down in the mire of everyday life, chores, and expectations. I also think there is so much to be said for having a little room to breathe and just listen.
I don’t always remember my dreams. Sometimes the recollection is vivid and startling. Other times it is vague or completely lost the minute I wake up. I always wondered what the reason was for this. I also have bouts of insomnia at times and then my dreams are lost. Maybe your deep sleeping buries your dreams because I am sure you have them.
I get that sensation when I am whipping cream. I sort of want to fall into it and embrace it. The color of whipped cream is so comforting and of course the future of whipped cream and me is pleasant to contemplate.
I get a similar feeling when I contemplate the rising sun combination of colors of pink and orange. For me it is a color that I have pursued all my life. Not to wear but to fall into, like what I imagine Nirvana would be like.
This is the situation that I have with color and I was surprised to find that others of us have the same interaction. I find that color can motivate my life.
The subject of color is one of my favorites! I am fickle about color though. I never seem able to have a favorite. Usually a color’s strength and impression is prompted by memory or a vision or a dream. Then maybe it becomes my color of choice for awhile until it is replaced with another. I guess this is why I always want to paint the walls a different color every so often. And sometimes I want everything to be white or cream so I can introduce colors that stand out and can be highlighted. It is a subject of vast proportions to so many of us who create or think about creating. Always, we are in search of that color(s) that speaks to us and what we are trying to communicate through sensation.
you have beautiful dreams……………… let them speak!
XXXm
I guess dreams do have a power that we often miss unless we pay attention. Thank you for you insight!